sleepless nights, love & torment
I haven't written much in my blog lately 'cause the endless diet of movies & Rekerds keeps me from using the computer as much as I used to. On top of everything else, there's no good Dick in town; A Scanner Darkly couldn't compete with Pirates of the Caribbean, which is certainly true of Invisible City but not the City of Night.
Trish is depressed 'cause she called the nurse yesterday while I was at my eye appointment (& ignoring Cheri) -- I do get new trifocals -- she called the podiatrist's nurse & found out she may need much more time off work. She just wants to return to work & is going stir-crazy. Today after I run my old lens back to the optometrist & pick up my grocery-money check from Karen we'll watch Return of the King. In the evenings Trish likes to listen to my old collection of divinyl LPs. It's hard for me to use the computer when she's around, but for the last couple days I've been waking up at 5:00 AM. This is with 2 temazapam & no benadryl (I ran out) & fuck Scientology & the skinny dog. I'm not certain if the effect is from being off the benadryl or from my bipolar disorder, but I do have the option of using 3 temazapam & may do so if I get real strung out with lack of sleep. I'm still trying to decide if the Xanax (& fuck the skinny dog) is enough to deal with the panic attacks that accompany my oculogyrics or if I should switch back to stelazine. I did some of my best writing on stelazine, even though ASIM called "Fragile Eggshell Mind" "badly over-written", but (1) I'm not certain what drug I was on & (2) Gardner returned it with complements, so I don't think that they know what they're doing. In any case, I have over a month to figure out if I want a spike into my vein or a little purple pill.
Trish & I are having brecchie of French toast today. Maybe that will make it seem more like a work day. I have 20 minutes left on the computer until then.
Trish is depressed 'cause she called the nurse yesterday while I was at my eye appointment (& ignoring Cheri) -- I do get new trifocals -- she called the podiatrist's nurse & found out she may need much more time off work. She just wants to return to work & is going stir-crazy. Today after I run my old lens back to the optometrist & pick up my grocery-money check from Karen we'll watch Return of the King. In the evenings Trish likes to listen to my old collection of divinyl LPs. It's hard for me to use the computer when she's around, but for the last couple days I've been waking up at 5:00 AM. This is with 2 temazapam & no benadryl (I ran out) & fuck Scientology & the skinny dog. I'm not certain if the effect is from being off the benadryl or from my bipolar disorder, but I do have the option of using 3 temazapam & may do so if I get real strung out with lack of sleep. I'm still trying to decide if the Xanax (& fuck the skinny dog) is enough to deal with the panic attacks that accompany my oculogyrics or if I should switch back to stelazine. I did some of my best writing on stelazine, even though ASIM called "Fragile Eggshell Mind" "badly over-written", but (1) I'm not certain what drug I was on & (2) Gardner returned it with complements, so I don't think that they know what they're doing. In any case, I have over a month to figure out if I want a spike into my vein or a little purple pill.
Trish & I are having brecchie of French toast today. Maybe that will make it seem more like a work day. I have 20 minutes left on the computer until then.
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